You Don’t Choose to Be a Writer. Writing Chooses You.

You’ve no doubt read other writer-author blogs. You may have even read about what life as a writer is really like. You’ve heard boring things like “Sweat pants” “coffee” “laptop” and “deadlines” included in such reveal-alls.

Let me be the first to say that this is simply NOT TRUE. NOT AT ALL.

Just the other day I strapped on wings made from dragon hide and boomsling and set off over London under the cover of darkness (this was obviously to prevent the kidnapping of a baby which was although not completely successful, we nonetheless derailed said kidnapper’s nefarious plans. You can read more about that in my complete report due out sometime this year).

Another time I was deep in the heart of the black forest with death’s heir. (As a side note, He’s simply the most handsome man I’ve ever met. In another life, something more might have been there between us, however..) He passed me a mouthpiece breath device and we dove into the middle of a channel that snaked through the forest. I can’t tell you what we found underwater but I can say it took me a good month before I would go near water again. (Many a complaint there was about my corn-chip odor. Also, I was quite thirsty.)

The life of a writer is in fact one of the grandest adventures in the world*.

I don’t believe that you choose to be a writer. Rather, writing chooses you. Like a bad cough, you can’t get rid of the need to put words to paper no matter how many remedies you try. (Like leading a taser-whielding revolt against people who talk loudly on their phones in public, taking up clog dancing and touring with Riverdance or seducing wealthy senators. Although in my defense he was unmarried.)

So, even though you may say “I’ve decided to become a writer”, the words are in fact, moot. That decision was made a long time ago. Probably before you even realized it.

So buckle up, dear reader. The fact that you’re reading this blog means you have 1. Good taste and 2. An interest in writing or reading. Or 3. Perhaps you’re just bored in which case I suggest taking up writing and/or reading.

I promise that throughout the next months to eternity or however long I’m at this post you’ll see the wild sometimes egregious doings of one writer in the trenches. Although possibly not always completely true (to protect the identity of the innocent, and to prevent the pants bored off of you) I can at least guarantee that all stories will be rooted in real-life facts. You will hopefully gain much insight, much wisdom and much support in this wonderful, painfully beautiful journey of becoming who you were meant to be.

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